The Journal Gazette
Saturday, September 25, 2021 1:00 am

Late night laughs

Climate crisis coverage

“How could anyone be opposed to trying to fix this? Even if you run an oil company, you and your children and their children are going to have to live on in the world. There's no Planet B.

“Wildfires, floods, landslides – which, all amazing things to hear Stevie Nicks sing about; not something you want to experience in life.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“But ordinary people are doing something about climate change: They're worrying – especially young people. A recent study asked youths 16 to 25 from around the world how they felt about climate change, and 56 percent agreed with the viewpoint that humanity is doomed. Nice try, kids, but you're not getting out of your student loans.”– Stephen Colbert

Opening day in NYC

“But all the big names have shown up. President Biden gave a speech, Brazil's Bolsonaro gave a speech, and (South Korean boy band) BTS gave a speech and filmed a music video from inside U.N. headquarters. Completely real. Yeah. Old people were probably watching this, like, 'What the hell is a BTS?' And young people were watching it, like, 'What the hell is the U.N.?'

“But it makes sense for BTS to show up at the U.N. I mean, they probably have the most powerful army.” – Trevor Noah

“I feel sorry for the U.N. translators who are working during Biden's speech. Imagine having to think of the Portuguese word for 'buckaroo,' right there on the fly.”– James Corden

Give it a shot, kids!

“Big news today, as Pfizer announced that a low dose of its vaccine is safe and effective for kids ages 5 to 11. It's great news until you hear a 6-year-old say, 'I want to do my own research first.'

“Of course, a lot of kids will get the vaccine while a small minority will insist on taking pony dewormer, because they're children.” – Jimmy Fallon

Subscribe to our newsletters

* indicates required